Tuesday, February 26, 2019

For a Little While

Others around me seem so carefree.
I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Their naive happiness seems a shallow goal.
Searching instead for a way to save my wretched soul.

My disillusionment easily justified.
In these fools I find no allies.

Ignorant and unable to see
Basic truths so obvious to me.

But perhaps there’s another turn of this phrase.
Surely they’re not all skipping along in a blissful haze.

Maybe it’s me who doesn’t really care.
Their trivial problems and insecurities I can’t bear.

When the daughter I love is dead in the ground,
Others whining and complaining just isn’t profound.

The thing they don’t get
Is that this day-to-day crap doesn’t matter one little bit.

Posting those perfect photos of a fake life.
Self-esteem hangs in the balance of those coveted likes.

It’s so easy to be an Insta-whore.
Just share another picture of a barely covered ass — such a bore.

Don’t forget to flash the bottom of those Louboutins.
Seen it all before; this tired act makes me yawn.

What they’ll find at the end of their time
Is that they’re a dozen a dime.

Praise from strangers they don’t even know.
As fickle as the direction a breeze may blow.

Gone at the first hint of trouble.
I’ll be the one to burst that pathetic bubble.

They keep right on ignoring those who really matter.
Consumed by social media’s incessant chatter.

Wasting precious time they can never replace.
All in this vain effort to win the rat race.

I dropped out long ago.
It wasn’t a hard decision to forgo.

I just had to be shown the light.
The key to it all hidden in plain sight.

Oh but what a stiff price to pay
To finally have something important to say.

This knowledge few will bother to heed.
Fame and fortune they think they need.

It’s those small moments that really matter the most.
Cherish them now rather than chasing a ghost.

That’s the big secret I’m trying to tell,
Though it doesn’t seem to matter how hard I yell.

My warning so easy to ignore.
They see me as a preachy bore.

Daughter gone yet my words ring hollow.
One bitter pill after another to swallow.

If only my simple truth they would hear,
Pain finds us all but guilt and regret might disappear.

My only choice now is to walk a few more miles.
Keep my fake smile plastered for a little while.

Just an Ordinary Day at the Park. That Smile Wasn't Fake.

4 comments:

  1. Most people are very lucky in that they won't ever come to this realization. I wish you didn't have to, my friend.

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    1. True, though people can disappear from our lives in all kinds of ways. Children grow up quickly and go off to school. Partners/spouses feel the sting of neglect, develop their own interests, and lover becomes roommate in the blink of an eye. Friends just sort of fade away, swept along in the tide of our busy lives. And though it's the natural order of things, parents also eventually pass on. So I'd still say cherish those small moments. Even if you escape the tragedy of child loss, we all experience our share of loss before we leave this place. Thank you for reading, brother. Always appreciate your perspective.

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  2. Thank you for sharing Charles. Yours is a profound loss I never hope to experience, but know that I do grieve with you. I’ll be seeing Vlad this weekend, and rest assured we will raise a glass to you and Roo. It has always been the relationships in life that make this journey worth living, and you have been a huge part of that for me. I’m a better person for having shared in this experience with you and your daughter.

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    1. Thanks brother. Appreciate those words, and you have had the same effect on my life. Have fun in Arizona. I'll ring you next week.

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